I am sure you're still wondering how it is that I got here, in this new town working for the fire service when that was not my original plan. Well, it actually started back in August of 2013 when my husband and I went on a canoe trip to the boundary waters in northern Minnesota. The trip was our "last hurrah" before I started paramedic school. We knew our schedules and finances probably wouldn't allow us to take many trips once I started so we went to the wilderness for a few days before school for the kids and me was in full swing. The trip was awesome, and I will write more about our love for camping and the outdoors in the future, but on our way home we came through a town not too far from where we were living. My husband said on our way through the area that he had always thought it would be fun to live there. He said there were several lakes to fish in and a lot of pretty country. I understood what he meant and I liked the town too.
In the next few weeks I started school. What a whirlwind of a year! I had no idea I could learn so much in such a small amount of time. To say that the program was intense is probably an understatement, but I really don't know what word does it justice. Now, if you've been involved in an intense program you know that it changes you. A person either breaks or gets stronger when they go through something that stretches them. Thanks to God and the support of my family and friends, I didn't break. I never could have done it on my own-that is for certain. There were times when I left my ride along site at 0400 so I could make it back to class on time. I even slept in a sleeping bag in the back of my van-in the hospital parking lot one night because I needed to see baby deliveries and the OB nurses told me no one was delivering and I should get some sleep but stay close in case someone comes in ready to go. It was definitely an adventure, but I guess it prepared me for the lack of sleep that sometimes comes with the job. That was part of my training and I didn't even know it at the time.
Eventually, though it came to an end and it was time to find a job. I sent my resume out to a few places, and even had one offer. I didn't want to move away from the town and the people I had known as home for the past 7 years, and many places require that you live close. Again, there was the reservation, and that was still on my radar, but I had discovered my passion for fire during my internship and really wanted to pursue that. Then one day my teacher posted a link on our class Facebook site that said that nice town my husband said he'd like to live in was looking for firefighter/paramedics. Of course when I told him that he said, "well you'd BETTER be applying for that!!!" So I printed my resume, filled out the application, and took the exam required to be considered.
After one interview, they called me for a second!! I was so excited I could barely contain myself. I was in lab preparing for my national registry practicals when they called. There were nervous people pacing the floors because our big exam was coming up, and even though I was nervous for them too, I couldn't stop smiling. Of course though, I tried not to get too excited. After all, I had no guarantee of a job, just a second interview. What was I going to do? I was still considering the other job I was offered, but I knew that my husband would be so happy if he got to move to the angler's paradise this area is. I never could have predicted, though what would actually happen the day of that second interview.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Thursday, April 23, 2015
Through thick and thin
Paramedic school was one of the hardest and yet most fun things I have ever done. Remember how I said in the last post that I made friends who will stick by me through thick and thin? I cannot even begin to say how grateful I am for the friends I made in school. When you have a common bond with someone, or when you share a passion for what you do, its hard not to be friends, really. I was so surprised that I made as many friends as I did. There was a group of us who went to lunch together just about every class day. And you know how you can make friends somewhere and swear you'll stay in touch, but you really don't? We have not done that. Of course the world of Facebook and text messaging has made that a lot easier. It is so great to know that there are other people going through the same things as you usually on any given day. We talk about challenges that rookie paramedics face, and its comforting to know we're not alone. Somebody out there gets it.
While I am talking about friends, I have to say that working for the fire service has blown me away in that aspect as well. I moved to this town 6 months ago and didn't know that many people, but most of my shift showed up to help carry in boxes and furniture into our house. Now tell me where else you can work and have coworkers you don't even know that well yet show up and help you move? I can't think of any place. People who work in fire and EMS know that while you definitely make friends, it is more accurate to say you become part of a big family. Its a family because even though we bicker and argue and don't agree on everything, we would do just about anything for each other. We would die for each other. Because I am still new to this it is strange sometimes to think that there is a group of people I've known for a few months who would drag me out of a burning building risking their own lives, and I of course would do the same for them. But again, when you share a passion for your work with other people, it is hard not to become friends-even family.
I am getting ahead of myself though, you still don't know how it is I got here. Again, my life didn't go as planned. One year ago school was nearing the end and I was so ready to find a job. My husband was definitely ready for me to be working again, too! In the meantime I had begun an internship at a fire department. It was during this that I decided it wasn't just EMS I had a passion for, but fire too. I couldn't believe how amazing it felt to put on the gear and go up in the ladder truck. (I'm pretty sure I'm the only one in my class who got to do that on paramedic internship). I told my husband that I loved it and that I would really like to work for the fire service some day and of course he wasn't surprised. But I thought some day-in the distant future. I thought there was no way on earth I could do it right away. But again, life didn't go as planned.
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
-John 15:13
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
To avoid criticism...
Paramedic school was something I knew I wanted for awhile by the time I spoke with my teacher about where he went to school. He said the school he attended had a great program and recommended I apply. I spoke with other medics and they said the same thing. The only problem was the school was 2 hours from where I lived and I would have class 3 days a week and clinicals besides. Could I handle this? Could I drive that many hours a week and be away from my kids and husband? I spent many nights awake wondering if we were making the right decision. And of course I had naysayers.
Why is it that there are always people trying to tear others down? There have always been people who think they know what is good for me and my family more than I do-and it has always bothered me. I couldn't help wondering if all those negative Nellies were right. I thought, "maybe I'm too old, maybe I'm too weak, maybe my kids will feel as if I abandoned them if I spend some nights away from home." The thing is, I had prayed about this. You don't know me well enough yet to know that I have a strong faith in God. I believe that He has a plan for everyone, but I also believe we must be part of our own rescues. There is a reason He gave me the passion for this. He didn't put me on earth to lie on a beach and drink margaritas (not that there's not a time and place for that) but He put me here to fulfill a purpose-to help other people and show them His love. Even though I had prayed about this, there were still people who criticized. I even had one lady ask my kids (in front of me) if they were going to have to cook their own meals while mom was in school. This infuriated me even more than it probably should have, but it really should have infuriated my husband. Did she not think he was capable of cooking a few meals? I'll get more in to double standards for men and women later, but the point is it made me question my decisions. My questioning was soon halted one day though when I got a fortune cookie that read, "To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." Some people credit this to Aristotle and others to a writer named Elbert Hubbard, but whoever said it was right. Now, I am by no means saying that one should decide their future based on a fortune cookie. My faith was apparently weak that it took that to put my mind at ease about my decision. However, there is so much truth in that statement. The only way I can avoid being criticized is to do absolutely nothing. That's the only way any of us can avoid criticism. What a life lesson to learn in your 30s. I am sure that I'll have to learn it again, in fact just writing this makes me remember that I should think less about what other people think. Human logic is sometimes flawed. We don't always know the whole story before we judge what others are doing. I have probably done this to other people more times than I care to admit, and more likely several times when I don't even know I have done it. So I decided that even though some would criticize, I was ready to take on paramedic school along with all the challenges it would bring. I had no idea though that in the next year I would learn so much more than just textbook facts and algorithms. I would make friends who would stand beside me through thick and thin. I would change-for the better I hope- by gaining confidence I never thought possible.
1 Samuel 16:7b
"The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
Why is it that there are always people trying to tear others down? There have always been people who think they know what is good for me and my family more than I do-and it has always bothered me. I couldn't help wondering if all those negative Nellies were right. I thought, "maybe I'm too old, maybe I'm too weak, maybe my kids will feel as if I abandoned them if I spend some nights away from home." The thing is, I had prayed about this. You don't know me well enough yet to know that I have a strong faith in God. I believe that He has a plan for everyone, but I also believe we must be part of our own rescues. There is a reason He gave me the passion for this. He didn't put me on earth to lie on a beach and drink margaritas (not that there's not a time and place for that) but He put me here to fulfill a purpose-to help other people and show them His love. Even though I had prayed about this, there were still people who criticized. I even had one lady ask my kids (in front of me) if they were going to have to cook their own meals while mom was in school. This infuriated me even more than it probably should have, but it really should have infuriated my husband. Did she not think he was capable of cooking a few meals? I'll get more in to double standards for men and women later, but the point is it made me question my decisions. My questioning was soon halted one day though when I got a fortune cookie that read, "To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." Some people credit this to Aristotle and others to a writer named Elbert Hubbard, but whoever said it was right. Now, I am by no means saying that one should decide their future based on a fortune cookie. My faith was apparently weak that it took that to put my mind at ease about my decision. However, there is so much truth in that statement. The only way I can avoid being criticized is to do absolutely nothing. That's the only way any of us can avoid criticism. What a life lesson to learn in your 30s. I am sure that I'll have to learn it again, in fact just writing this makes me remember that I should think less about what other people think. Human logic is sometimes flawed. We don't always know the whole story before we judge what others are doing. I have probably done this to other people more times than I care to admit, and more likely several times when I don't even know I have done it. So I decided that even though some would criticize, I was ready to take on paramedic school along with all the challenges it would bring. I had no idea though that in the next year I would learn so much more than just textbook facts and algorithms. I would make friends who would stand beside me through thick and thin. I would change-for the better I hope- by gaining confidence I never thought possible.
1 Samuel 16:7b
"The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
Monday, April 20, 2015
The Day I Discovered Why
So now you know how I got started in EMT class. I promise we will get to the good stuff soon, but I felt like some background would be helpful. The class ran from December 2012 to May 2013. There were times I felt I would never pass my national registry. (For those unfamiliar with EMS, the national registry is the test one has to pass to become certified to work as an EMT) I remember thinking that paramedic school must be really hard because this was pretty hard. Oh and remember how I said we started class with 10 students? Yeah, well by the second night of class we were down to seven. I'm not sure what happened to the other three who ventured out into that blizzard the previous night but they must have decided the class wasn't for them. The teacher acted like that was completely normal and said we would lose more before the class ended in May.
I know you're wondering how it is that I became a paramedic when I said in the last post that I gave up on it about as soon as I thought of it. That's where April 2, 2013 comes into this story. On the first day of class, one of the state EMS coordinators came to speak to our class and mentioned that the busiest ambulance service in the state was found on a reservation several hours away. I of course decided that I wanted to go and see this place. I had grown up not far from the reservation and I knew what it was all about, but I had never seen it from the side of the first responders who serve there. So I got up at 0300 on April 2nd to be at the ambulance garage by 0800. After an almost 4 hour drive I finally arrived at a pole building on the edge of a run down reservation town. I walked in and saw 6 ambulances, one of which had a big sign on the front that read "fix me". People were walking around feverishly cleaning and restocking the trucks. I was in awe. All I could think is "this is awesome." I tried to text my husband and tell him that I made it and that I was really excited for this day, but when I looked down at my phone I discovered it had no signal. It was at about this time when I decided I had better introduce myself to these people. So I walked up to one of the ladies and told her my name and that I was an EMT student. She was friendly and reassured me "its really not as bad as it looks." Of course I was thinking, "what are you talking about??!! This is great!"
Someone once told me "There are two very important days in your life: they day you are born and the day you discover why you were born." April 2, 2013 was the day I discovered why. Not only was I able to help with trauma calls and experience what it would be like to work at a busy ambulance service, but I figured out how that particular service ran. The people there were all really nice and although a few were from the reservation, most of them said they commuted from several hours away, just like I had done that morning. They told me that they work a 40 hour shift and then go home for 5 days before coming back again. This was it!! This was how I could work as a paramedic even though our town didn't employ them! Not only that, but it was on that day I decided that I had so much fun, God must have put me on this earth to be a paramedic. It was like my professional life was finally going to make sense. I finally discovered why I was given this adrenaline junkie and impatient personality and I made up my mind that day that I would take what God had given me and use it to help other people-and if that meant spending money on school, studying, changing careers, and being even poorer than I was used to being for a couple years so be it. It was my calling. And the funny part is when I called my husband on my way home to tell him this, he already knew. Somehow he knew what had happened to me that spring day on the reservation, and he totally understood what I needed to do next.
I know you're wondering how it is that I became a paramedic when I said in the last post that I gave up on it about as soon as I thought of it. That's where April 2, 2013 comes into this story. On the first day of class, one of the state EMS coordinators came to speak to our class and mentioned that the busiest ambulance service in the state was found on a reservation several hours away. I of course decided that I wanted to go and see this place. I had grown up not far from the reservation and I knew what it was all about, but I had never seen it from the side of the first responders who serve there. So I got up at 0300 on April 2nd to be at the ambulance garage by 0800. After an almost 4 hour drive I finally arrived at a pole building on the edge of a run down reservation town. I walked in and saw 6 ambulances, one of which had a big sign on the front that read "fix me". People were walking around feverishly cleaning and restocking the trucks. I was in awe. All I could think is "this is awesome." I tried to text my husband and tell him that I made it and that I was really excited for this day, but when I looked down at my phone I discovered it had no signal. It was at about this time when I decided I had better introduce myself to these people. So I walked up to one of the ladies and told her my name and that I was an EMT student. She was friendly and reassured me "its really not as bad as it looks." Of course I was thinking, "what are you talking about??!! This is great!"
Someone once told me "There are two very important days in your life: they day you are born and the day you discover why you were born." April 2, 2013 was the day I discovered why. Not only was I able to help with trauma calls and experience what it would be like to work at a busy ambulance service, but I figured out how that particular service ran. The people there were all really nice and although a few were from the reservation, most of them said they commuted from several hours away, just like I had done that morning. They told me that they work a 40 hour shift and then go home for 5 days before coming back again. This was it!! This was how I could work as a paramedic even though our town didn't employ them! Not only that, but it was on that day I decided that I had so much fun, God must have put me on this earth to be a paramedic. It was like my professional life was finally going to make sense. I finally discovered why I was given this adrenaline junkie and impatient personality and I made up my mind that day that I would take what God had given me and use it to help other people-and if that meant spending money on school, studying, changing careers, and being even poorer than I was used to being for a couple years so be it. It was my calling. And the funny part is when I called my husband on my way home to tell him this, he already knew. Somehow he knew what had happened to me that spring day on the reservation, and he totally understood what I needed to do next.
Learning and Loving
December 2012 marked the beginning of a new chapter for me. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I had arranged to carpool to this tiny town (population about 400) about an hour away for EMT class. My family's van was on its last leg and my husband and I had been shopping for a "new" one. I put the word new in quotes because we don't actually buy new vehicles. Again, you're still getting to know me and you don't yet know that my husband and I are what you might call frugal. Anyway, as we were in the car dealership signing the paperwork for our new to us van, it began to snow....hard. For a moment I thought maybe we wouldn't have our first night of class and then I thought "no, if I'm going to survive as an EMT I'm going to have to be tough. I can't let a little snow get in my way." I've never been one to care about a little rain or snow anyway. In fact I often think that people who do must not have grown up around here (even though I know they did.) I'll admit right now and you'll find out as you read, I am NOT a patient person. If I need or want something on the day of a blizzard or a thunderstorm, I go get it anyway. And honestly, part of me really enjoys going out when other people are hunkered down in their houses with a cup of coffee and a radio waiting out the storm. But it makes sense- that's why I enjoy the line of work I got myself into. That is pretty much what we do.
I remember going home and eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, finding my snow boots and taking off toward the fire station to meet my carpool mates who were both volunteer firefighters. I knew one of them and had never met the other so of course I was a little nervous. Don't get me wrong-I'm an extrovert- I love meeting new people. I was nervous because one just never knows-especially as a woman- how you'll be received in this line of work. All of these thoughts go through your head and before you've even met the people sometimes you've made up your mind of what they think of you. I know-its not fair to people when I do that. I really need to work on that.
After driving through blizzard conditions to get to our destination, we found a small room with folding tables and chairs with a teacher and ten students. Ten-remember that number, it'll come up later. The instructor introduced himself as a firefighter paramedic. Teaching is what he did in his off time. As he told the class about how he became a paramedic after being an EMT for a few years I got way more excited than someone who had just driven through a blizzard for a night class should have. I knew then and there that I wanted to be a paramedic. I even raised my hand and asked about it. Then reality hit me. The town I lived in didn't even employ paramedics. Our ambulance service only had and only wanted EMTs. So, I forgot about becoming a paramedic and listened to the lecture. The first lecture of many, many more to come.
I remember going home and eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, finding my snow boots and taking off toward the fire station to meet my carpool mates who were both volunteer firefighters. I knew one of them and had never met the other so of course I was a little nervous. Don't get me wrong-I'm an extrovert- I love meeting new people. I was nervous because one just never knows-especially as a woman- how you'll be received in this line of work. All of these thoughts go through your head and before you've even met the people sometimes you've made up your mind of what they think of you. I know-its not fair to people when I do that. I really need to work on that.
After driving through blizzard conditions to get to our destination, we found a small room with folding tables and chairs with a teacher and ten students. Ten-remember that number, it'll come up later. The instructor introduced himself as a firefighter paramedic. Teaching is what he did in his off time. As he told the class about how he became a paramedic after being an EMT for a few years I got way more excited than someone who had just driven through a blizzard for a night class should have. I knew then and there that I wanted to be a paramedic. I even raised my hand and asked about it. Then reality hit me. The town I lived in didn't even employ paramedics. Our ambulance service only had and only wanted EMTs. So, I forgot about becoming a paramedic and listened to the lecture. The first lecture of many, many more to come.
Friday, April 17, 2015
Country roots to fire boots
As I said in my last post, I grew up in the country. You might wonder why that is such a big deal, and I guess its really not. I like to think, however; that my country roots had a little something to do with my being able to work in the fire service. I'm not saying that if you grew up in the city, you can't work for the fire service, just that I feel as if my life has come full circle in a sense.
So, let me tell you how I got here and how it is that my life has turned out so different from my teenage dreams. First of all, I fell in love with a small town boy. He grew up on a hobby farm not quite as far in the middle of nowhere as I did, but in the country nonetheless. As most of us know, love can do some crazy things to people. Finding my husband not only made it so I didn't move to that big city I had dreamed of as a teenager, but put me in a situation where I was able to follow a dream that I never thought in a million years would come true.
Since you're still getting to know me, you don't know yet that I am a bit of an adrenaline junkie. My favorite pass time is snow skiing. I have always loved to do things that other people thought were "crazy" or "scary". I can remember as a teenager saying "being an EMT would be the coolest job ever!!!" But, growing up where I did, EMT was a second job. People who were EMTs were also farmers, ranchers, teachers, etc. EMTs wore a radio on their belt and went on about 10 calls a year. I always looked up to those people and thought "maybe someday I'll do that". Well, years went on and things happened and before I knew it I had 3 kids and had been working for a phone company for 8 years. Eight years!! I liked my job, but I always felt like something was missing professionally. I love my husband and kids and I always felt my family life was greater than anyone could ever dream- and I'll write more about that later-but I always felt professionally I wasn't living up to my full potential. I felt I could learn more, do more, and help more.
Fast forward to a day when I heard the small town my husband grew up in (and where he and I were living with our 3 kids) was looking for EMTs. I was so excited. I have always had an interest in the medical field and even registered once for nursing school, but circumstances at the time had prevented me from going through with it. Anyway, I was so pumped to start learning. Little did I know that a small EMT class in a tiny town's fire hall would completely change my life.
So, let me tell you how I got here and how it is that my life has turned out so different from my teenage dreams. First of all, I fell in love with a small town boy. He grew up on a hobby farm not quite as far in the middle of nowhere as I did, but in the country nonetheless. As most of us know, love can do some crazy things to people. Finding my husband not only made it so I didn't move to that big city I had dreamed of as a teenager, but put me in a situation where I was able to follow a dream that I never thought in a million years would come true.
Since you're still getting to know me, you don't know yet that I am a bit of an adrenaline junkie. My favorite pass time is snow skiing. I have always loved to do things that other people thought were "crazy" or "scary". I can remember as a teenager saying "being an EMT would be the coolest job ever!!!" But, growing up where I did, EMT was a second job. People who were EMTs were also farmers, ranchers, teachers, etc. EMTs wore a radio on their belt and went on about 10 calls a year. I always looked up to those people and thought "maybe someday I'll do that". Well, years went on and things happened and before I knew it I had 3 kids and had been working for a phone company for 8 years. Eight years!! I liked my job, but I always felt like something was missing professionally. I love my husband and kids and I always felt my family life was greater than anyone could ever dream- and I'll write more about that later-but I always felt professionally I wasn't living up to my full potential. I felt I could learn more, do more, and help more.
Fast forward to a day when I heard the small town my husband grew up in (and where he and I were living with our 3 kids) was looking for EMTs. I was so excited. I have always had an interest in the medical field and even registered once for nursing school, but circumstances at the time had prevented me from going through with it. Anyway, I was so pumped to start learning. Little did I know that a small EMT class in a tiny town's fire hall would completely change my life.
New (kid) in town
The title might make a person think I am young, but I'm really not that young. I use the term "kid" loosely. I am 33 years old. No, I am not old, but I have lived some life. I have 3 girls ages 10, 7, and 4. I have been married for 14 years coming up this June (can't believe it!!). The reason I am the new kid in town is I just started working for the fire service as a paramedic firefighter. Did I mention I just graduated paramedic school less than a year ago? What can I say, I'm a late bloomer. Anyway, last August I began my career with a small midwest town fire service. I am actually the first female to be hired full time there, and this blog will follow the ups, downs, adventures and craziness of my new career.
Let me start from the beginning, I grew up in an area that the word rural doesn't even begin to describe. Some people may call it desolate, or even God forsaken, but for me it was home. My family lived 30 minutes from the nearest grocery store and no, that wasn't because we had to wait in traffic to get there, it was because it actually took that long to drive there on a clear day with no ice or snow on the roads. We raised beef cattle and farmed hay and wheat. As a teenager I couldn't wait to get away from that place. I always wondered what other girls my age were doing while I was feeding bottle calves or helping brand. Don't get me wrong, we had TV just like everyone else in America-3 whole channels in fact. (Well, again pending that clear day with no wind, ice, or snow!) I always thought I would marry a rich business man and move to a big city. I would have a couple of kids and go out for dinner every night at some fancy restaurant with white linen tablecloths (I had never eaten at such a place, but had seen them on one of my 3 channels of TV). I would get dressed up for my husband after a day of taking care of our children and hitting the gym. I would own designer bags and shoes. I would only go back to the desolate country when Christmas came, and they would all think I was so "citified" and I would like it.
Ok, out of my teenage fantasy now. To make a long story, well...a little less long, my life didn't turn out that way. It didn't turn out even close to that-and I couldn't be happier that it didn't.
Let me start from the beginning, I grew up in an area that the word rural doesn't even begin to describe. Some people may call it desolate, or even God forsaken, but for me it was home. My family lived 30 minutes from the nearest grocery store and no, that wasn't because we had to wait in traffic to get there, it was because it actually took that long to drive there on a clear day with no ice or snow on the roads. We raised beef cattle and farmed hay and wheat. As a teenager I couldn't wait to get away from that place. I always wondered what other girls my age were doing while I was feeding bottle calves or helping brand. Don't get me wrong, we had TV just like everyone else in America-3 whole channels in fact. (Well, again pending that clear day with no wind, ice, or snow!) I always thought I would marry a rich business man and move to a big city. I would have a couple of kids and go out for dinner every night at some fancy restaurant with white linen tablecloths (I had never eaten at such a place, but had seen them on one of my 3 channels of TV). I would get dressed up for my husband after a day of taking care of our children and hitting the gym. I would own designer bags and shoes. I would only go back to the desolate country when Christmas came, and they would all think I was so "citified" and I would like it.
Ok, out of my teenage fantasy now. To make a long story, well...a little less long, my life didn't turn out that way. It didn't turn out even close to that-and I couldn't be happier that it didn't.
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