Life's too short

Anyone who has had stress in their life knows that it can affect everyone differently.  Usually, though, the effects usually have one thing in common: they're negative.  Stress can make a person sleep less, eat less/more, worry more, enjoy life less, and cause a whole list of long term health problems doctors are still discovering.  We all have stress-and some is good.  The stress of being occupied and employed is usually a good thing.  On the other hand, the stress of losing a job or a loved one can be detrimental.  I have experienced both of these stresses in the last few months.

You already know that I changed jobs and moved my family to a new town this year.  Although you might say that was stressful, it was good.  I like to compare it to a healthy pain, like when you're running or lifting weights and you push yourself and feel that fatigue followed by a great sense of accomplishment and in some cases, even euphoria.  Unfortunately though, the other kind of stress can feel like those weights got dropped on your abdomen.  It can feel like it is crushing you, inside and out.  I think most people can relate to both of these.  I lost my grandmother this past February and even though her death was not a surprise, she was very ill and was 88 years old, it still hurt.  It hurt to lose an amazing woman who lived her whole life with a selflessness I can only dream of having. It hurt to know I won't see her again this side of heaven, and that my kids probably won't remember her. In the months after my grandma passed, several people from my hometown died suddenly and unexpectedly.  Shortly after that, a 38 year old volunteer firefighter from a nearby town died in a house fire from floor collapse and a fall.  Now, if you were around me when I heard the news of all these deaths, you would think I am a rock.  Some people may even think I am cold and don't have a heart.  And honestly, sometimes I think those things too.  But then a few weeks go by.  I go on about my daily routines and I just start getting irritable.  Everything anyone does makes me angry, even if it shouldn't.  

I think these types of reactions are common for people who work in high stress jobs.  I have read a lot about post traumatic stress and how it can affect all of us.  The crazy thing to me is how things can affect us even when we don't think they do.  I was saddened to hear about the fallen firefighter, but he was not someone I knew personally.  Something about that, though affected me way more than I thought.  I think deep inside somewhere I was wondering if I would fall apart completely if something like that happened to someone I know.  I was wondering what would happen to my family if it happened to me.  I think everyone who heard the news was wondering those things-even if we don't like to admit it. 

It is so hard sometimes to find balance to work these things out.  We live in a culture of extremes. We have workoholics and people who won't get off the couch, epidemics of both obesity and eating disorders.  We are almost taught by example to be extreme. If work stresses us out, we bury ourselves in more work.  If we're too depressed to leave the house, we stay in and make it worse. Where is balance?  How can we achieve a good balance of everything?  It is, in my opinion, one of the hardest things to do-but also one of the most important.  We need to have fun, visit our friends and take time for our families and things we enjoy.  Life is too short to put off what is most important.  <3